It sucked, 7 hands went up and yeah it sucked. Probably one of the, if not the worst moments of my life! The anger stayed with me fully for about 4 days, its still very much well and truely there now; but I just go over the events of that bad day in my head and it gets me mad all over again! I am of course talking about the Karate elections! I'm over that now, but it still hurts and its not the only thing in my life that still havent a long time is still a fairly open wound. Only now if somebody mentions that they'll get a smack where as before I was hurting like I am for this fucker now.
However grading isnt very far off now so my attention has to turn to that. I'll hopefully become a yellow belt on thursday and want to do as much practise between now and then! That way I can go into the grading knowing ive given it my all and if I dont grade that I couldnt have done any better! My fear of crowds has gone down a lot since the North Wales Tournement in Perstaton or however you spell it! Now its just ok people are watching me focus on what im doing now and lets get this done! Non of this oh my God people are watching me im going to fail......no its do it now, think later; that is after all how I think karate should be.
Summers coming and im hoping to get some work, But I also want to stay focused on training and living healthily. I intend to do gym every work day but that depends on when my work at Sainsburys will let me in. So im kinda hoping for evenings as this will also limit the amount I get to go out on late nights (which also mean drunkeness)!
I cant wait to get back here and continue my training and work at the same time as wanting my course to be over I also want to stay until I become black belt; which I have no doubts I will sometime with a lot more hard work and effort!
Chris.
Sunday, 31 May 2009
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