Aberystwyth Trains (rant)

This is stupid, i mean stupid!

I hate trains with every ounce of passion in my body! I mean sometimes it seems walking would be quicker or more efficient! Every two hours! two hours! A train comes to Aberystwyth! I mean dude it could be every hour but no. Also you stop for about half hour in the middle of a field; the point to loose some carridges? There is also a station but no body every gets on or off, its a field! Dovey junction; Dovey bloody junction indeed; Doves are probably the only bloody things that use that station! Ok rant over. Day so far woke up early had energy drink, went to exam felt shit did exam just came home, got a cold, but hay happy happy happy! No really i am happy! My exams are over and im off to see Bloc Party tomorrow in Wolverhampton, yes!

Why does alcohol and lack of revision always make it better?

Ok so the depression has been pushed aside! I apologize if my typing is a bit sub-standard, ive been drinking! Missed karate, it felt bad. Revised it felt......well errrm yes! Went out drank a bit came back here! listening to extras in Dr. Horribles online blog. Its brilliant always puts a smile on my young face! Ill feel bad in 5 hours and 13 minutes but for now who gives a feck!? All females are strangely abudent and all feelings of stress feel like they are some how lodged in my skull rather then in the big part of my small brian so im not like ooooow man exams oooooow man not enough revision ooooow man these girls blah blah blah. Kids i know I moan a lot, i mean fecking loads about girls but come on im 19........im male................I love girls I mean need i say more? They are like a centre piece of my life, feck they are the centre piece of my life. At times I may seem disrespectful to them but heck I love each nad every one of them.....in varying amounts obviously!

Which leads on to tonights funny story......A large fat girl trying to fit through a door at Scholars......she was fat the door was thin...........i guess you had to be their.

Peace brothers and sisters (love you more as lnog as your not actually my sister ;-) although i do love her dont get me wrong much love there but its not like lovely love its like love love if that makes sense, dude im ranting again!

Chris.

Yesterday.......

Yesterday is proof of just how depressed I can get its not nice; its not me normally. I mean today is totally different I feel kinda vented the same but vented like I can hold feelings in, like life is worth something. I hope today will continue like this; I hope karate helps, I hope revision goes well, oh and I need to ring our landlord before our roof bursts! Yes it is as bad as it sounds!

Chris.

Its nights like this........

You know....you have them occasionaly. The ones where your almost at tears, your not sure why; life was good yesterday and now, for now at least it just feels like shit. Sleepings a possibility but it seems almost impossible to achieve. Shit im a fully grown, fairly large male and im writing this on the edge of being a blubbering baby! I'll tell it as a story, stories are good!

One of my best friends came to visit a few days ago, he mentioned this girl I like, but I havent told anybody, not even him! Ok maybe just a suggestion but it was a very male, meh shes ok type comment! At the same time I really like this local girl (as in we are at the same uni). The problem and depressing bit is that I dont know if I like one of them much because I dont really know her, but the attractions insane, I mean its rare, rarely insane! But I might not see her soon/ever. At the same time I cant go out with this local girl because ill feel shit like meh I like the other girl. But at the same time i really really like this local girl and its like i could see us being great friends or more. But I denied her tonight my reasoning being the exams; but yes this was bugging me too! I knew I wouldnt be able to sleep until I did some venting see, so I came and typed it all here; now I feel a lot better.

These last few days have been hard, not with my mate Tom visiting that was mint, but the work and today him not being here and the thoughts of what if then this other girl; its all clashed together into a fairly stressful; yet strangely motivating mix!

On the MMA front me and Tom did some training I won two-one doing the old Brazilian Ju-Jitsu. It was mint I love that sport with all my sane heart (id say its something like 33% sane ;-)). Also ive written up a new diet plan (cereal, salad lunch, normal tea, 8 classes of water 4 of fruit alcohol only on a thursday and saturday). And gym plan (8 hours gym a week). Im hoping it will man me up.

I wish life would be easier, but i guess after all we learn from the constant struggles.

Chris.