Hay,
Well life has been pretty good for me at the moment! I'm working hard which is bad because its just to fill time, but ill get some cash and lord I need that so bad! Just a quickie tonight on my new years resolutions! I'm writing them here so I remember them and can focus back on them throughout the year. I'm also going to encourage all my mates to help me with these targets!
Aim one: 13 and a half stone by the end of the year (189 pounds and 85.7289579kg thanks google)!
Aim two: Build more muscle- ok I know this isnt one I can neccessarily know when ive hit!
Aim three: Move out by xmas 2010
Aim four: Have a job by November 2010
Aim five: (and the biggie) Cut drink out to two days a week (thursday and saturday so i can be social)
Aim six: A salad a day I mean proper beefy nice salad (that should be easy I love salad)!
Aim seven: Cut out all 'junk food' apart from Sunday nights so I dont go on binges like used to!
So yeah targets down; lets go get them!
peace,
Chris.
So yeah im setting targets and looking at how I can hit them by the dates set, ive gotta
Tuesday, 29 December 2009
Sunday, 13 December 2009
Work Training weekend!
This weekend I returned to Shrewsbury for work training. I decided to let a minimal amount of people know about this so it wouldnt seem like I was avoiding seeing people! Of course I was; but the reason was I needed this to be very relaxed, work was enough stress I didnt need anymore! Work was as dull as ever we just all sat there 4 nine hours before we could leave; it was training after all, and yeah the money will make it all worth while!
In other news being with my father is like trying to walk on a just frozen lake! One bad move and your dead! Its horrible I never know quite where I am with him and I think this effected my shyness and made it worse; effecting my value feelings and that! I'm getting over it mind, hes one person in literally billions!
The world really is my oyster and im going to make the best world I can!
Chris.
In other news being with my father is like trying to walk on a just frozen lake! One bad move and your dead! Its horrible I never know quite where I am with him and I think this effected my shyness and made it worse; effecting my value feelings and that! I'm getting over it mind, hes one person in literally billions!
The world really is my oyster and im going to make the best world I can!
Chris.
Saturday, 5 December 2009
No Karate, lots of sleep = a clear mind
I havent had a mediatate today; not because im down but because i'm very up! Todays been an awesome action packed day! It started with a lot of sleep (and a bizarre car based dream)! Then I went to football, Karate was off because of a Karateathon event where people did Karate all day (crazy huh)? After football I went to watch some football! It was great fun although I was pretty tired and those seats are way too small for a 6 foot 4 male! So alls good im relaxed now, a little bored, be sleeping soon though zzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
Chris.
Chris.
Thursday, 3 December 2009
Conclusions of the past few weeks.
I'm drawing a line under current events, whilst learning from them immensely. I see now that all this insecurity, all of this worry that i'm alone, uncool (whatever that means), and generally failing life is not only BS but also a part of internal mind problems, and nothing doing anything but improving myself can improve i.e. getting a girlfriend, seeing my mother, getting drunk with friends etc wont solve any of this. I other need to focus on me, i'm ultimately whats most important to myself in the end anyway. So to do this I think plenty of meditation, the creation of new goals and the crossing off of some is required......or the update. I cant improve my outiside world; until I am at one with myself! I saw this last night whilst meditating, it also helps me to think well who gives a fuck what others think because thats external me not internal me and i'm focusing on that guy; that is Ben my Totem.
In other news I realised how even some apparent friends can enjoy your downfall and enjoy sticking another nail into your grave. This led to anger, but also further thought that internal me needs sorting, so thanks! I shouldnt let people like that effect me they can go feck themselves you know what I mean? In a completely selfish way its me who matters fuck the rest of this world. ME ME ME!
its the theme of the day, now im off to make me well again!
Chris.
In other news I realised how even some apparent friends can enjoy your downfall and enjoy sticking another nail into your grave. This led to anger, but also further thought that internal me needs sorting, so thanks! I shouldnt let people like that effect me they can go feck themselves you know what I mean? In a completely selfish way its me who matters fuck the rest of this world. ME ME ME!
its the theme of the day, now im off to make me well again!
Chris.
Monday, 30 November 2009
Meditation is good, I might do it a bit more!
So I began meditating again today but I used a new technique from ogtrance.wordpress.com. At first I just thought i'd see what he said he saw or something similar, I was a little bit sceptical I guess whilst knowing I too can go into trance from previous experience. I followed his instructions and soon in my meditation saw a brown bear, scratching at a tree on his hind legs. The blog encouraged me to research the animal I saw and I found below on the topic from various sources so I cant tell you where from unfortently:
'Role: To Awaken the Intuition~
Lesson: To Integrate the Parts into the Whole
Element: Earth
Wind: West, ~The Quest Within~
Medicine: To channel the Primordial Forces
Bear, Proudly Standing, full of grace and strength, you appear before us,
your face alight with the wisdom of one who has journeyed far
and witnessed much of man`s inhumanity to man.
Your gentle eyes weep for the pain you have borne witness to,
your soul afire with the knowledge that there is
so much more to the Walk around
the Sacred Hoop.
Your mind blazes with the desire to communicate to we,
the two-legged, that all life is infinitely precious,
and to be held sacred and revered.
There comes a gentle stirring from Within, like autumn leaves
blown by a restless wind, it harkens us back to a time,
when All walked as One.
When the force of Great Mystery moved across the face
of the waters in the veil of silver moonlight,
and rode freely upon the Seven Winds.
Wise Sister, who reminds us that Destiny`s Beginning and End,
resides not Without . . . but Within
I thank you for your Selfless Love, and pray
we will all hear your call to Awaken
to the glowing embers of
the Soul`s Memory.
The strength of Bear medicine is the power of introspection. The bear represent the west side of the Medicine Wheel. The West is the place of intuition, transformation, inner-knowing, shamanic journeying, dreams and visions. Bear teaches you to go within to solve problems and promote healing. Seek knowledge and wisdom through meditation and dreams. Go within your Winter Cave (subconscious mind) for renewal and the resources necessary for survival and healing. If you have Bear medicine, remember to slow down in Winter. Keep a slower pace during this season so you can contemplate the past year and prepare for the year to come. Study herbs and explore quiet places in Nature for balance and healing. Rest, but try not to hibernate all year long. Spring will provide you with new ideas and opportunities. Plan and prepare for next year, but don’t forget to live fully in the moment in the present moment.
personal power that she's learning to own
In some traditions bear is the spirit keeper of the West. The place of maturity and good harvest. The gifts that bear offers to those with this totem are strength, introspection and knowledge.
Unlike other animals who are active during a specific time of day, the bear is active both day and night. This symbolizes its connection with solar energy, that of strength and power, and lunar energy, that of intuition. It enhances and teaches those with this totem how to develop both within themselves.
Bear can sometimes be too quick to anger and too sure of it own power. While they have little to fear they can forget caution, which is an important trait to have. If bear is your totem be careful that you don't throw your caution to the wind. Being unaware of your limits in certain settings can be disastrous.
The bear holds the teachings of introspection. When it shows up in your life pay attention to how you think, act and interact. Use discernment in all that you do and discriminate with care. Bear teaches you how to make choices from a position of power'.
From this i've made the following observations about myself and my opinions on the world, my environment etc. Now don't get me wrong i'm very new to this however I think that some of it applies and although parts dont further study in this area (as i'll be meditating anyway) can only be a good thing!
1. I have been through a lot but am still here, much like the bear is described above.
2. I am a very inward person, I will often think lots, although sometimes I go head first into things or loose control of a situation which results in negative events.
3. I dislike the winter greatly, which is what I have intpretated from the above. I often go in doing the samethings I did during the summer and this results in me feeling very down with myself.
4. I am very energetic both day and night, which is similar to the bear, but often take naps because i'm too active.
5. I often get angry too fast, or make judgements or think others are judging me.
6. I often dont know my own limits or power e.g. hitting people too hard, getting drunk, taking things too far too fast. I need to control this more.
So I think I need to meditate in this way more so I learn more about 'bear' or my inner spirit however this is represented to me and then research or ask for help about the results. I'll do this tomorrow I think, and i'm looking very much foward to it!
Chris.
'Role: To Awaken the Intuition~
Lesson: To Integrate the Parts into the Whole
Element: Earth
Wind: West, ~The Quest Within~
Medicine: To channel the Primordial Forces
Bear, Proudly Standing, full of grace and strength, you appear before us,
your face alight with the wisdom of one who has journeyed far
and witnessed much of man`s inhumanity to man.
Your gentle eyes weep for the pain you have borne witness to,
your soul afire with the knowledge that there is
so much more to the Walk around
the Sacred Hoop.
Your mind blazes with the desire to communicate to we,
the two-legged, that all life is infinitely precious,
and to be held sacred and revered.
There comes a gentle stirring from Within, like autumn leaves
blown by a restless wind, it harkens us back to a time,
when All walked as One.
When the force of Great Mystery moved across the face
of the waters in the veil of silver moonlight,
and rode freely upon the Seven Winds.
Wise Sister, who reminds us that Destiny`s Beginning and End,
resides not Without . . . but Within
I thank you for your Selfless Love, and pray
we will all hear your call to Awaken
to the glowing embers of
the Soul`s Memory.
The strength of Bear medicine is the power of introspection. The bear represent the west side of the Medicine Wheel. The West is the place of intuition, transformation, inner-knowing, shamanic journeying, dreams and visions. Bear teaches you to go within to solve problems and promote healing. Seek knowledge and wisdom through meditation and dreams. Go within your Winter Cave (subconscious mind) for renewal and the resources necessary for survival and healing. If you have Bear medicine, remember to slow down in Winter. Keep a slower pace during this season so you can contemplate the past year and prepare for the year to come. Study herbs and explore quiet places in Nature for balance and healing. Rest, but try not to hibernate all year long. Spring will provide you with new ideas and opportunities. Plan and prepare for next year, but don’t forget to live fully in the moment in the present moment.
personal power that she's learning to own
In some traditions bear is the spirit keeper of the West. The place of maturity and good harvest. The gifts that bear offers to those with this totem are strength, introspection and knowledge.
Unlike other animals who are active during a specific time of day, the bear is active both day and night. This symbolizes its connection with solar energy, that of strength and power, and lunar energy, that of intuition. It enhances and teaches those with this totem how to develop both within themselves.
Bear can sometimes be too quick to anger and too sure of it own power. While they have little to fear they can forget caution, which is an important trait to have. If bear is your totem be careful that you don't throw your caution to the wind. Being unaware of your limits in certain settings can be disastrous.
The bear holds the teachings of introspection. When it shows up in your life pay attention to how you think, act and interact. Use discernment in all that you do and discriminate with care. Bear teaches you how to make choices from a position of power'.
From this i've made the following observations about myself and my opinions on the world, my environment etc. Now don't get me wrong i'm very new to this however I think that some of it applies and although parts dont further study in this area (as i'll be meditating anyway) can only be a good thing!
1. I have been through a lot but am still here, much like the bear is described above.
2. I am a very inward person, I will often think lots, although sometimes I go head first into things or loose control of a situation which results in negative events.
3. I dislike the winter greatly, which is what I have intpretated from the above. I often go in doing the samethings I did during the summer and this results in me feeling very down with myself.
4. I am very energetic both day and night, which is similar to the bear, but often take naps because i'm too active.
5. I often get angry too fast, or make judgements or think others are judging me.
6. I often dont know my own limits or power e.g. hitting people too hard, getting drunk, taking things too far too fast. I need to control this more.
So I think I need to meditate in this way more so I learn more about 'bear' or my inner spirit however this is represented to me and then research or ask for help about the results. I'll do this tomorrow I think, and i'm looking very much foward to it!
Chris.
Thursday, 26 November 2009
Just a quickie, like a shot of coffee, only more tastie!
Hay,
Now i dont have much time, but today is karate election day :-D Ive lost my speech mind, so I better find that later, oh and i need to get some money for grading, I assume im grading/ hope i'm grading. Lifes ok at the moment on all fronts yes im still frustrated and all that about recent events but hau its sunny outside how on earth could I be angry? Its November and its like paradise here!
You couldnt complain if you tried!
More later,
Chris.
Now i dont have much time, but today is karate election day :-D Ive lost my speech mind, so I better find that later, oh and i need to get some money for grading, I assume im grading/ hope i'm grading. Lifes ok at the moment on all fronts yes im still frustrated and all that about recent events but hau its sunny outside how on earth could I be angry? Its November and its like paradise here!
You couldnt complain if you tried!
More later,
Chris.
Thursday, 19 November 2009
A Month to go........
Ok kids,
I know my posts havent been easy reads of late. I struggle with the winter every year far too dark, depressing, then add a girl and my unstable hormone driven mind and we get a storm! Anyway good news a month today ill see all my mates again! I say all of them I of course mean the ones from shrewsbury! you guys in Aber rock too (and girls, in fact especially girls)!
Chris.
I know my posts havent been easy reads of late. I struggle with the winter every year far too dark, depressing, then add a girl and my unstable hormone driven mind and we get a storm! Anyway good news a month today ill see all my mates again! I say all of them I of course mean the ones from shrewsbury! you guys in Aber rock too (and girls, in fact especially girls)!
Chris.
Today is a new day!
Following on from my living in the now times, ive decided im not looking foward to the future because its dark espcially when I go back home, I mean I dont particularly enjoy it anyway so when I have to go back with this sort of stuff in my head it does me over a little bit! I'll likely stress out a bit then hope I dont see people then work and hope I do see them.......its all very muddled up, but I do it each and everytime I decide ive fallen for someone; and yes it often ends the same as tihs one has! Who knows by then I may have moved on, but yeah we can hope, or I might have gone back to my existence before! Where I liked nobody, not in a bad way it was nice life felt kinda a bit empty but it was less empty then it is now? Does this make sense?
Anyway enough time wasted I must write an assignment!
Chris.
Anyway enough time wasted I must write an assignment!
Chris.
Wednesday, 18 November 2009
Following on from yesterday!
Ok I snapped, it was terrible! So now ive decided to write a few good things about me to counter any negativity errrrm ok see ya! No im kidding i've listed some things below:
1. Ive survived many things to come as far as I have. I got to university when they said i'd fail- they said id fail my SAT's and then GCSE's, now im here at uni, good huh?
2. Ive gotta a bunch of friends for a real shy person, and I know I could count on the vast majority of them- I'm very proud of this and love each and everyone of my friends. I'm not very connected to my own family so often this falls on them and they engage it, thanks guys and girls!
3. I'm a good listener and can give good advice when people want to tell me- ill listen to you all day! Unfortently im currently deaf in one here so I may often just reply.....errrm pardon?
4. I can take a joke and im also vunerable at points which adds to my shy guy nature- I can take a well natured joke and also love to make jokes, but im shy at first, sometimes this paralyzes me and I get frustrated and all fecked up (see previous blog post)!
5. i'm a hard worker and have a never give up spirit, even if sometimes im pushed on by others- I dont ever want to give up on anything and love to work on things, even if they are clearly gone, sometimes this is bad, but I think determination is purely good!
6. I have good self discipline- I can control myself and normally my mind, this is enforced by Karate.
7. i'm organised- does what it says on the tin!
8. I'm passionate about what I do- and passionate about my friends, family and everything I do or know, even when they hurt me often which makes me silly maybe (hay wasnt this meant to be like a happy blog, meh it still is :-P)?
9. im trustworthy- I stick by my word, dont you worry.
10. I know how to relax and just chill- like I am now, I often meditate, and love just to exist!
Peace,
Chris.
1. Ive survived many things to come as far as I have. I got to university when they said i'd fail- they said id fail my SAT's and then GCSE's, now im here at uni, good huh?
2. Ive gotta a bunch of friends for a real shy person, and I know I could count on the vast majority of them- I'm very proud of this and love each and everyone of my friends. I'm not very connected to my own family so often this falls on them and they engage it, thanks guys and girls!
3. I'm a good listener and can give good advice when people want to tell me- ill listen to you all day! Unfortently im currently deaf in one here so I may often just reply.....errrm pardon?
4. I can take a joke and im also vunerable at points which adds to my shy guy nature- I can take a well natured joke and also love to make jokes, but im shy at first, sometimes this paralyzes me and I get frustrated and all fecked up (see previous blog post)!
5. i'm a hard worker and have a never give up spirit, even if sometimes im pushed on by others- I dont ever want to give up on anything and love to work on things, even if they are clearly gone, sometimes this is bad, but I think determination is purely good!
6. I have good self discipline- I can control myself and normally my mind, this is enforced by Karate.
7. i'm organised- does what it says on the tin!
8. I'm passionate about what I do- and passionate about my friends, family and everything I do or know, even when they hurt me often which makes me silly maybe (hay wasnt this meant to be like a happy blog, meh it still is :-P)?
9. im trustworthy- I stick by my word, dont you worry.
10. I know how to relax and just chill- like I am now, I often meditate, and love just to exist!
Peace,
Chris.
Tuesday, 17 November 2009
Its amazing how your life can go from the best to hell in a matter of days isnt it? A few days ago I was actually stupid enough to think someone else in this world might actually like me! Looking back this was a huge error and I had been severely manipulated, but im still suffering as a result of these incredibly fucked up feelings. I was doing ok until tom left, I had a distraction from my feelings and over zealous emotions but now ive crashed and I weep although im not sure why it wont change anything not one thing! I am never again going to let anyone control me; although i thought I liked it, I thought id just snap into action, but no I froze; and now I look at this kitchen nikfe next to me and think is it really worth all this pain, why not just end it? This is definately the lowest point ive had in the past three years and it just so happens that its a dark, dank day. I want to go walking but I dont think id ever come back. I'm starving too but eating is just pointless, its like im hurting so everythings just concentrating on this pain and feeling sorry for myself. Which is in fact something im increasingly annoyied at; I mean I cant change a thing, frustrating as that might be and should just thing blah blah move on boo hoo etc and just do it. Yet everytime I have an up at the moment a low hits me seconds later. Until I get so low I break, e.g. now!
So if you dont mind i'm off to wollow in self pity and cry over a girl ill probably never see again.
Chris.
So if you dont mind i'm off to wollow in self pity and cry over a girl ill probably never see again.
Chris.
Tuesday, 10 November 2009
I hate this feeling after like a day.......
Its the feeling where you think I quite like this girl! Suddenly your brain plays tricks with you and your becomes newly oriantated around this person. You want to smoke but you've never smoked in your life! Its the horrible feeling of liking someone! Im used to this ive been hurt many times in the past but still feck it hurts in this case shes far far way mind so theres nothing i can do about it well other then muck it up via phone which I hope I dont do! In other news dissertatino tomorow! Which reminds me............
Smartie needs to recharge!
Chris.
Smartie needs to recharge!
Chris.
Monday, 9 November 2009
2nd karate Torunement!
second karate tournement same result! out frist round; wahaaaaay! I dont care anyway! Ive decided im much better at hitting people hard so ill do that from now on hahaahahaha! No more dancing, well only to avoid punches! in other news is a mate trying to match make me and if so why? what else has happened........errrm well loads of work got more experience from the tournement and im currently ill with a cold and blocked ear! Oh and my doctors is rubbish!
Chris.
Chris.
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
This university.........its alot of work dont you know!?
Its true!
Im very tired again tonight! It seems like I can sleep for days yet im still zonked (hope you like that word.....its descriptive)! Tomorrow I have competition training and get to learn just how much the competition has set me back! Money I cant afford, I used to worry about such things, but after a while you just let it rush by! I'm listening to particually soothing music and also The Killers at the moment though so i'm very, very relaxed. Work tomorrow though; speak to me then, things will be different. PERL, PYTHON, PHP which to use? I dont know arrrrrgh!
And back to the music and chilling arrrrrrr (thats a arrrr as in relaxing by the way)!
Chris.
Im very tired again tonight! It seems like I can sleep for days yet im still zonked (hope you like that word.....its descriptive)! Tomorrow I have competition training and get to learn just how much the competition has set me back! Money I cant afford, I used to worry about such things, but after a while you just let it rush by! I'm listening to particually soothing music and also The Killers at the moment though so i'm very, very relaxed. Work tomorrow though; speak to me then, things will be different. PERL, PYTHON, PHP which to use? I dont know arrrrrgh!
And back to the music and chilling arrrrrrr (thats a arrrr as in relaxing by the way)!
Chris.
Monday, 2 November 2009
Sudden Photos......Zombies......confusion? Sorted!
Ok kids,
I'm merclessly plugging my up coming film on here rather than on the Smart Arse Productions blog. This may have been a mistake from me.....it may just be cunning marketing! Who knows? But the adds are here and the film is only a month off filming and will be released days after......thats right days! Not weeks, not months oh no! Days! Thats not because its going to be a bad film; oh no you bet; itll be mint!
Chris.
I'm merclessly plugging my up coming film on here rather than on the Smart Arse Productions blog. This may have been a mistake from me.....it may just be cunning marketing! Who knows? But the adds are here and the film is only a month off filming and will be released days after......thats right days! Not weeks, not months oh no! Days! Thats not because its going to be a bad film; oh no you bet; itll be mint!
Chris.
Its gone bloody cold, and bruises! All to come!
Hay,
Its freezing a very sudden winter has crept up on me and is now making me freeze out! I've also decided im not a big fan of the lighting here which is a shame considering the clocks have changed here and now it goes dark at like 2pm! Crazy why do we bother doing it (suggestions on a post card please). Got a lot of work to do at the moment! a 5000 word; thats right 5000 word assignment to do! and a dissertation report thing to also churn out! Oh and then in December and doing the shooting of a certain block buster of the future!
Its all engines engaged down here, you in?
Chris.
Its freezing a very sudden winter has crept up on me and is now making me freeze out! I've also decided im not a big fan of the lighting here which is a shame considering the clocks have changed here and now it goes dark at like 2pm! Crazy why do we bother doing it (suggestions on a post card please). Got a lot of work to do at the moment! a 5000 word; thats right 5000 word assignment to do! and a dissertation report thing to also churn out! Oh and then in December and doing the shooting of a certain block buster of the future!
Its all engines engaged down here, you in?
Chris.
Thursday, 22 October 2009
Dont give me responsibility unless you want it to go horribly wrong!
Tickets, whats the point? Their isnt one i mean pffft! I get given these errands to run and I try and fufill them kits a difficult life! Sometimes (often) I get it wrong with entertaining consequences. An example of this is when Ow asks to get Ceri a ticket. So being me I get myself and her a ticket. What ow really meant was get me and ceri (and you) a ticket! Silly silly times! In other news im trying to get the energy for Karate, considering ive slept basically all day this is a surprisingly difficult task! Also in other news I won a pound on a machine today! I only had to put 5 in to get it of course.....thats how I make money!
Chris.
Chris.
Friday, 9 October 2009
Another blog, thats right its called frequent!
So i'm sitting on my arse watching peep show. Just waiting to see Redman again; but not in a gay way. Back at Karate now, its mint I cant wait for the next one tomorrow! Also I missed boxercise; but it was an accident ill go on maybe probably if not ill probably like never go. Its just changing and starting new things can be a bit tedious at times. In other news the diss will be starting soon, again energy. Nothing really big has been happening.
But you wanted frequency thats what you'll get.
More soon.
Chris.
But you wanted frequency thats what you'll get.
More soon.
Chris.
Saturday, 3 October 2009
Back at uni!
So im getting old!
after 3 hours of football my legs now literally stop responding! After two days of freshers week I feel oddly tired, yet cant sleep! Thats right kids im a twenty year old man in a ninety year old body! Football trails where oddly good despite not touching the ball (well I did like twice, one was a nice back pass with my heel). Got a friendly game against ATFC Lions coming up. I'm hoping i'll get to play for that, ordered studed boots and all sorts for that event! Going to start going for runs down the hill and back soon me thinks! I say soon it probably wont happen as I have like karate and football and a dissertation to write yepee! I'm looknig foafter having a long unemployied summer its got me in the mood to work and to write a blog! Also I sorted out those problems that I previously had so can now focus a lot less aggressively on Karate and MMA. Ive also joined Caperio or however you spell it in a bid to increase my flexability! Which hopefully will improve karate and Vice a versa if thats even how you spell it.
Currently I miss my family quite a bit I always do when it begins friends just arent the same the connection isnt as there. Getting something to do with my days will stop this and also when ive got to spend 2 days a week on my disseration (yeah right) i wont have time to miss people.
Oh and before I go females suck.....the reasoning behind this revelation is that I have a friend (female) and a best friend (male) and they are friends (hes taken you see) but the problem is things have been said and I defiately like her and she likes me (i think) so what do I do? I mean I know what to do but saying it and doing it like everything in life is two different ball games.
Talking of balls maybe I should grow some hahahha.........I mean bigger ones?
Now im off to play.
Chris.
after 3 hours of football my legs now literally stop responding! After two days of freshers week I feel oddly tired, yet cant sleep! Thats right kids im a twenty year old man in a ninety year old body! Football trails where oddly good despite not touching the ball (well I did like twice, one was a nice back pass with my heel). Got a friendly game against ATFC Lions coming up. I'm hoping i'll get to play for that, ordered studed boots and all sorts for that event! Going to start going for runs down the hill and back soon me thinks! I say soon it probably wont happen as I have like karate and football and a dissertation to write yepee! I'm looknig foafter having a long unemployied summer its got me in the mood to work and to write a blog! Also I sorted out those problems that I previously had so can now focus a lot less aggressively on Karate and MMA. Ive also joined Caperio or however you spell it in a bid to increase my flexability! Which hopefully will improve karate and Vice a versa if thats even how you spell it.
Currently I miss my family quite a bit I always do when it begins friends just arent the same the connection isnt as there. Getting something to do with my days will stop this and also when ive got to spend 2 days a week on my disseration (yeah right) i wont have time to miss people.
Oh and before I go females suck.....the reasoning behind this revelation is that I have a friend (female) and a best friend (male) and they are friends (hes taken you see) but the problem is things have been said and I defiately like her and she likes me (i think) so what do I do? I mean I know what to do but saying it and doing it like everything in life is two different ball games.
Talking of balls maybe I should grow some hahahha.........I mean bigger ones?
Now im off to play.
Chris.
Tuesday, 11 August 2009
tired, making changes, but always say I will then never do!
So.......
Im drinking, but stopping now. Starting a new strict eating regime, maybe with more protein but its hard when i'm living with my parents because they hate supplements and also eating when they dont deem it a correct time too!
Last night I got stupidly drunk, it always seems good fun, but one day a drink too much will be my last! SO new eating regime, more meditation (because thats gone down the hill of late too) and better fitness regime! These are all plans! The problem is making them reality!
but in the end ill be happier and healthier for it!
Chris.
Im drinking, but stopping now. Starting a new strict eating regime, maybe with more protein but its hard when i'm living with my parents because they hate supplements and also eating when they dont deem it a correct time too!
Last night I got stupidly drunk, it always seems good fun, but one day a drink too much will be my last! SO new eating regime, more meditation (because thats gone down the hill of late too) and better fitness regime! These are all plans! The problem is making them reality!
but in the end ill be happier and healthier for it!
Chris.
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Summer loving something smething something!
Yeah the titles a song from that Grease movie, I dont know the words the lyrics are basically a bunch of mumbles all crammed into my head and I mumble them out when I just think of summer! Anyway as my audience will know im a big fan of self help and improvement! I've been a 'customer' (I quote that because im not sure exactly how to describe my role) for the past 5 or so years with varying levels of success. Just thought i'd recommend a person and therefore a website to you before I write a more detialed blog its: http://fullcontactliving.wordpress.com/ no advertising but this guy is good makes me think and im sure he will expand your mind a lot too!
Anyway now for the blog. 3 days on one day off thats the fairly hard routine im following at the moment when it comes to the gym! Its roughly an hour to ninety minutes of gym a day followed by the 'relaxation room' (now here quotes are used to show sarcasm) often this 'relaxation room' is the least relaxating of everything avaliable at a gym! Cold to hot routines the constant fear of being splashed! Its a good laugh though im really enjoying my life and the holidays at the moment. Since I took some of the advice from the site above my life has felt more I dont know how to describe it......happy? I basically got everyone who I dont know or think may have a largely or completely negative impact on my life (or no longer know) and got them out! That is via mobile or msn or facebook, no murders here oh no! Since then ive been like yeah im with some mint people and its really helped me alot! In other news ive got my third brain appointment tomorrow and I also forgot a meal with some friends tonight (d'uh) but ive had a rather busy day! I like having loads to do whether it be work or play its just so cool! Apologies again to anyone I may have deleted it wasnt personal! Your just not for me!
Chris.
Anyway now for the blog. 3 days on one day off thats the fairly hard routine im following at the moment when it comes to the gym! Its roughly an hour to ninety minutes of gym a day followed by the 'relaxation room' (now here quotes are used to show sarcasm) often this 'relaxation room' is the least relaxating of everything avaliable at a gym! Cold to hot routines the constant fear of being splashed! Its a good laugh though im really enjoying my life and the holidays at the moment. Since I took some of the advice from the site above my life has felt more I dont know how to describe it......happy? I basically got everyone who I dont know or think may have a largely or completely negative impact on my life (or no longer know) and got them out! That is via mobile or msn or facebook, no murders here oh no! Since then ive been like yeah im with some mint people and its really helped me alot! In other news ive got my third brain appointment tomorrow and I also forgot a meal with some friends tonight (d'uh) but ive had a rather busy day! I like having loads to do whether it be work or play its just so cool! Apologies again to anyone I may have deleted it wasnt personal! Your just not for me!
Chris.
Sunday, 31 May 2009
Clear the cob-webs first then carry on fighting!
It sucked, 7 hands went up and yeah it sucked. Probably one of the, if not the worst moments of my life! The anger stayed with me fully for about 4 days, its still very much well and truely there now; but I just go over the events of that bad day in my head and it gets me mad all over again! I am of course talking about the Karate elections! I'm over that now, but it still hurts and its not the only thing in my life that still havent a long time is still a fairly open wound. Only now if somebody mentions that they'll get a smack where as before I was hurting like I am for this fucker now.
However grading isnt very far off now so my attention has to turn to that. I'll hopefully become a yellow belt on thursday and want to do as much practise between now and then! That way I can go into the grading knowing ive given it my all and if I dont grade that I couldnt have done any better! My fear of crowds has gone down a lot since the North Wales Tournement in Perstaton or however you spell it! Now its just ok people are watching me focus on what im doing now and lets get this done! Non of this oh my God people are watching me im going to fail......no its do it now, think later; that is after all how I think karate should be.
Summers coming and im hoping to get some work, But I also want to stay focused on training and living healthily. I intend to do gym every work day but that depends on when my work at Sainsburys will let me in. So im kinda hoping for evenings as this will also limit the amount I get to go out on late nights (which also mean drunkeness)!
I cant wait to get back here and continue my training and work at the same time as wanting my course to be over I also want to stay until I become black belt; which I have no doubts I will sometime with a lot more hard work and effort!
Chris.
However grading isnt very far off now so my attention has to turn to that. I'll hopefully become a yellow belt on thursday and want to do as much practise between now and then! That way I can go into the grading knowing ive given it my all and if I dont grade that I couldnt have done any better! My fear of crowds has gone down a lot since the North Wales Tournement in Perstaton or however you spell it! Now its just ok people are watching me focus on what im doing now and lets get this done! Non of this oh my God people are watching me im going to fail......no its do it now, think later; that is after all how I think karate should be.
Summers coming and im hoping to get some work, But I also want to stay focused on training and living healthily. I intend to do gym every work day but that depends on when my work at Sainsburys will let me in. So im kinda hoping for evenings as this will also limit the amount I get to go out on late nights (which also mean drunkeness)!
I cant wait to get back here and continue my training and work at the same time as wanting my course to be over I also want to stay until I become black belt; which I have no doubts I will sometime with a lot more hard work and effort!
Chris.
Tuesday, 28 April 2009
Karate Tournement no recognition for it, but I guess thats earned!
So I went to the 24th KUGB North Wales Championship and took part in both Kata and one step sparring. I was out both first rounds the first one I just went wrong at the end of my kata it was my mistakes and it cost me ive never been good at keeping my weight in the back leg at the end of Heian Shodan. In the one step I have the excuse that I wasnt knowing I was going to do it until on the day, and basically I didnt have a clue what I was doing and was just beaten fair play by a better person (who went on for another two rounds I believe). What annoyied me was the day after where an email went around thanking everyone, everyone but me and another guy. Now that pisses me off quite a bit yeah we are lower grades atm then the others, but I know that both of us could kick some fucking ass of some of the higher grades! Yeah talk shit, ignore me, stand in your fucking circles and ignore the lower grades, but when I punch you in the face you'll know who the fuck I am! You can talk about how great you are as much as you want to, but at the end of the day until your the very, very best you cant say jack, and also until you beat me ill never fully respect you!Oh and I still need to get fit, gym tomorrow!
Chris (put this in the wrong place).
Chris (put this in the wrong place).
Saturday, 18 April 2009
New Term, New Promises, New Starts!
Excuses are too easy and im getting pretty fed up of making them!
Therefore this is the last promise im going to make, i promise myself and no one else im going to get myself fighting fit! Loose a lot of weight and gain some lovely muscle and kick some karate asses in my rollacoster ride to the top! Ive gotta be like 15 stone atm I want to get down to 13 at least by the time this next term ends!
Let the hell begin!
In other news life at the moment pretty much sucks ive spent the holidays so far just working my ass off and thinking man life sucks! Hopefully this week will change it all! Ive got seven days to do what I want (well six now I leave on Friday for Aberystwyth).
Because that town rocks!
Chris.
Therefore this is the last promise im going to make, i promise myself and no one else im going to get myself fighting fit! Loose a lot of weight and gain some lovely muscle and kick some karate asses in my rollacoster ride to the top! Ive gotta be like 15 stone atm I want to get down to 13 at least by the time this next term ends!
Let the hell begin!
In other news life at the moment pretty much sucks ive spent the holidays so far just working my ass off and thinking man life sucks! Hopefully this week will change it all! Ive got seven days to do what I want (well six now I leave on Friday for Aberystwyth).
Because that town rocks!
Chris.
Thursday, 5 March 2009
Shotokan Karate Grading
Here I can express my more explicit views on this subject; as im too fearful of getting banned on facebook to express them on that!
FUCK YOU ALL PEOPLE WHO DOUBTED ME OR STOOD IN MY FUCKING WAY OR TRIED TO FUCK THE FUCK UP WITH MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IM A FUCKING RED BELT NOW YOU FUCKING PRICKS IM COMING FOR YOU NEXT YOU FUCKING BASTARD!
Hay if you know me youll know a few of the examples of who the above might be about. If you know me even better though you'll also so know im not really too aggressive (well....)
Ok I love to fight, I love to punch and kick other people, I also dont mind throwing people; although im not a fan of being thrown so often tone this down!
Grading was a little less scary then before; first time I was like oh man what is this shit, man im spooked...blah blah. This time I was like that at first, but slowly got over it, I think adreneline kicked in and I was like psyche lets get this done!
Since grading (and passing!) ive got a little drunk hence the random blog post and extemity of the whole thing. Life as a whole is on a high for me at the moment, ive got a great core bunch of friends both here and in Shrewsbury and ive got a great new activity/religion type thing (Karate) that takes up a lot of my time! Fuck I dont have much money; but ive got guts and im young money worries are for oldies; and anyway what are parents for! I do however have a lot of work on at the moment; im kind of guessing I should knuckle down to that soon; man its lame though! Talking of work passed all but one exam (expected to fail it see) so im proud! I also hope my Grandpa is proud of me; I miss him so bad even now, I live to make him proud and just wish things could have been different sometimes!
damn im getting all emotional, so im off to bed!
Peace.
FUCK YOU ALL PEOPLE WHO DOUBTED ME OR STOOD IN MY FUCKING WAY OR TRIED TO FUCK THE FUCK UP WITH MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IM A FUCKING RED BELT NOW YOU FUCKING PRICKS IM COMING FOR YOU NEXT YOU FUCKING BASTARD!
Hay if you know me youll know a few of the examples of who the above might be about. If you know me even better though you'll also so know im not really too aggressive (well....)
Ok I love to fight, I love to punch and kick other people, I also dont mind throwing people; although im not a fan of being thrown so often tone this down!
Grading was a little less scary then before; first time I was like oh man what is this shit, man im spooked...blah blah. This time I was like that at first, but slowly got over it, I think adreneline kicked in and I was like psyche lets get this done!
Since grading (and passing!) ive got a little drunk hence the random blog post and extemity of the whole thing. Life as a whole is on a high for me at the moment, ive got a great core bunch of friends both here and in Shrewsbury and ive got a great new activity/religion type thing (Karate) that takes up a lot of my time! Fuck I dont have much money; but ive got guts and im young money worries are for oldies; and anyway what are parents for! I do however have a lot of work on at the moment; im kind of guessing I should knuckle down to that soon; man its lame though! Talking of work passed all but one exam (expected to fail it see) so im proud! I also hope my Grandpa is proud of me; I miss him so bad even now, I live to make him proud and just wish things could have been different sometimes!
damn im getting all emotional, so im off to bed!
Peace.
Friday, 27 February 2009
And so it begins again!
Anyone who knows me will know that my biggest passion; after drums is fighting!
For this I need a good health plan. I have set this up and do karate 8 hours a week. I'm not going to miss a session from now until holidays and over holidays i will hopefully train in BJJ! I'm writing this to motivate my self basically. Im fed up of my own excuses....im tired, im ill etc. I mean fuck me, fuck excuses; life is more important! I love life, to quote my own WAND fightshorts I fight for life! Shit man I fight for fucking life! Yeah the adrenilines going now im up for this shit!
Chris.
For this I need a good health plan. I have set this up and do karate 8 hours a week. I'm not going to miss a session from now until holidays and over holidays i will hopefully train in BJJ! I'm writing this to motivate my self basically. Im fed up of my own excuses....im tired, im ill etc. I mean fuck me, fuck excuses; life is more important! I love life, to quote my own WAND fightshorts I fight for life! Shit man I fight for fucking life! Yeah the adrenilines going now im up for this shit!
Chris.
Wednesday, 18 February 2009
How good is speed dating!?
The short answer is very.........
The longer answer is very, at first I was like "oh man I brought this when I was drunk". "Shit ill never do this". My mind was brimming with a load of negativity it wasnt good I was anexious. It was shit. I decided I needed to man up; I thought of the positives like hay ill meet people, hay I might meet friendly girls etc. The negatives where still there, but they where lessened by the positivity.
The teachings of this so far: This negativity is called Annexiety. Without blowing my own horn as im writing this to teach others (and to record it for myself) the positive thinking that followed helped block out this anexiety and thus I went to this event; anyway...........
We got there and my friend we will call ihm big tom, was drinking alcohol. I was drinking Cola (no alcohol I wanted off that). Anyway he turns to me and says rather loudly in a half farmer half brummie accent "lets go get some condoms hay". Or something similar. I was a little taken back by this:
1. I had condoms
2. I didnt want to share
3. We are in a union bar loads of people are around, do it slyly, id accept it, but this dude!
Anyway after this event the anexiety kicked back in, I was like man this is embaressing shit I could be playing pool etc. Anyway it began and in the people I met where all real cool the following points could be useful though:
1. Approach quick, approach fast, Dont hesitate, we are all in the same situation anywhere, anytime! I now see this includes clubs, pubs, bars etc. We are all out and people are out to have a give time if YOU help with this your in.
2. Make her laugh.......Again this got me results because when you get someone to laugh it helps her to relax and she will think your fun and active, dull people cant make people laugh (well they can but its like you what ha.....ha (you know what I mean))
3. Mention interests and be interested about them if that makes any sense. People can have an interest like say stamps, but not the passion behind them. You can make any passion interesting, in a variation of ways. A good way to do this is speak with the passion of the hobbie behind what your saying.....e.g. I love karate, oh man its sooooo physical. Also from making statements such as these new conversations can arise. Like your life activities/her life activities.
4. If she talks about herself your life is made easier. Ok im lazy, if I can sit back whilst someone natters with me and I just add the occasional wow or ok or statement in that keeps her going its good. In this case the interactions only went on for two minutes at a time, but in a bigger scenario, if your interesting and passionate and want to give not take you can do that and stay in those kinds of interactions all day!
5. Dont do questions all the time- I did this a few times and it literally is like putting a siev under the both of you and draining the energy away, you begin to feel bored so will she and then youll sit there (and make your excuses like "what are we supposed to talk about now"? Also she might get bitchy as she blames the negatvity on you; you are after all the leader.
I could probably come up with more bad and good comments about this evening all night! I was a bit gutted though that I didnt win best dressed, I had a pink shirt and everything!
Chris.
The longer answer is very, at first I was like "oh man I brought this when I was drunk". "Shit ill never do this". My mind was brimming with a load of negativity it wasnt good I was anexious. It was shit. I decided I needed to man up; I thought of the positives like hay ill meet people, hay I might meet friendly girls etc. The negatives where still there, but they where lessened by the positivity.
The teachings of this so far: This negativity is called Annexiety. Without blowing my own horn as im writing this to teach others (and to record it for myself) the positive thinking that followed helped block out this anexiety and thus I went to this event; anyway...........
We got there and my friend we will call ihm big tom, was drinking alcohol. I was drinking Cola (no alcohol I wanted off that). Anyway he turns to me and says rather loudly in a half farmer half brummie accent "lets go get some condoms hay". Or something similar. I was a little taken back by this:
1. I had condoms
2. I didnt want to share
3. We are in a union bar loads of people are around, do it slyly, id accept it, but this dude!
Anyway after this event the anexiety kicked back in, I was like man this is embaressing shit I could be playing pool etc. Anyway it began and in the people I met where all real cool the following points could be useful though:
1. Approach quick, approach fast, Dont hesitate, we are all in the same situation anywhere, anytime! I now see this includes clubs, pubs, bars etc. We are all out and people are out to have a give time if YOU help with this your in.
2. Make her laugh.......Again this got me results because when you get someone to laugh it helps her to relax and she will think your fun and active, dull people cant make people laugh (well they can but its like you what ha.....ha (you know what I mean))
3. Mention interests and be interested about them if that makes any sense. People can have an interest like say stamps, but not the passion behind them. You can make any passion interesting, in a variation of ways. A good way to do this is speak with the passion of the hobbie behind what your saying.....e.g. I love karate, oh man its sooooo physical. Also from making statements such as these new conversations can arise. Like your life activities/her life activities.
4. If she talks about herself your life is made easier. Ok im lazy, if I can sit back whilst someone natters with me and I just add the occasional wow or ok or statement in that keeps her going its good. In this case the interactions only went on for two minutes at a time, but in a bigger scenario, if your interesting and passionate and want to give not take you can do that and stay in those kinds of interactions all day!
5. Dont do questions all the time- I did this a few times and it literally is like putting a siev under the both of you and draining the energy away, you begin to feel bored so will she and then youll sit there (and make your excuses like "what are we supposed to talk about now"? Also she might get bitchy as she blames the negatvity on you; you are after all the leader.
I could probably come up with more bad and good comments about this evening all night! I was a bit gutted though that I didnt win best dressed, I had a pink shirt and everything!
Chris.
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Work and love.....
Both suck. Thats the end of that sentence by the way! Work sucks because its all ive been doing for the past few days 9-5/6, mostly sitting around thinking 'I dont know any of this shit, why are you asking me to do it?" Love sucks because I just realised that the girl ive been wanting to ask out for Wednesday isnt here and therefore wont be out wednesday, and the other lady i think i love is well miles away :-( On a much happier note ill be down the gym soon re-training and its not long until karates victory at Super Teams! An event which I havent heard much of in the last few weeks since it was announced actually! Also my UFC 89 DVD should be out soon; that'll be a good watch! My Buddha is sitting right in front of me, he wants his belly rubbed; do you?
Chris.
Chris.
Friday, 30 January 2009
Aberystwyth Trains (rant)
This is stupid, i mean stupid!
I hate trains with every ounce of passion in my body! I mean sometimes it seems walking would be quicker or more efficient! Every two hours! two hours! A train comes to Aberystwyth! I mean dude it could be every hour but no. Also you stop for about half hour in the middle of a field; the point to loose some carridges? There is also a station but no body every gets on or off, its a field! Dovey junction; Dovey bloody junction indeed; Doves are probably the only bloody things that use that station! Ok rant over. Day so far woke up early had energy drink, went to exam felt shit did exam just came home, got a cold, but hay happy happy happy! No really i am happy! My exams are over and im off to see Bloc Party tomorrow in Wolverhampton, yes!
I hate trains with every ounce of passion in my body! I mean sometimes it seems walking would be quicker or more efficient! Every two hours! two hours! A train comes to Aberystwyth! I mean dude it could be every hour but no. Also you stop for about half hour in the middle of a field; the point to loose some carridges? There is also a station but no body every gets on or off, its a field! Dovey junction; Dovey bloody junction indeed; Doves are probably the only bloody things that use that station! Ok rant over. Day so far woke up early had energy drink, went to exam felt shit did exam just came home, got a cold, but hay happy happy happy! No really i am happy! My exams are over and im off to see Bloc Party tomorrow in Wolverhampton, yes!
Thursday, 29 January 2009
Why does alcohol and lack of revision always make it better?
Ok so the depression has been pushed aside! I apologize if my typing is a bit sub-standard, ive been drinking! Missed karate, it felt bad. Revised it felt......well errrm yes! Went out drank a bit came back here! listening to extras in Dr. Horribles online blog. Its brilliant always puts a smile on my young face! Ill feel bad in 5 hours and 13 minutes but for now who gives a feck!? All females are strangely abudent and all feelings of stress feel like they are some how lodged in my skull rather then in the big part of my small brian so im not like ooooow man exams oooooow man not enough revision ooooow man these girls blah blah blah. Kids i know I moan a lot, i mean fecking loads about girls but come on im 19........im male................I love girls I mean need i say more? They are like a centre piece of my life, feck they are the centre piece of my life. At times I may seem disrespectful to them but heck I love each nad every one of them.....in varying amounts obviously!
Which leads on to tonights funny story......A large fat girl trying to fit through a door at Scholars......she was fat the door was thin...........i guess you had to be their.
Peace brothers and sisters (love you more as lnog as your not actually my sister ;-) although i do love her dont get me wrong much love there but its not like lovely love its like love love if that makes sense, dude im ranting again!
Chris.
Which leads on to tonights funny story......A large fat girl trying to fit through a door at Scholars......she was fat the door was thin...........i guess you had to be their.
Peace brothers and sisters (love you more as lnog as your not actually my sister ;-) although i do love her dont get me wrong much love there but its not like lovely love its like love love if that makes sense, dude im ranting again!
Chris.
Yesterday.......
Yesterday is proof of just how depressed I can get its not nice; its not me normally. I mean today is totally different I feel kinda vented the same but vented like I can hold feelings in, like life is worth something. I hope today will continue like this; I hope karate helps, I hope revision goes well, oh and I need to ring our landlord before our roof bursts! Yes it is as bad as it sounds!
Chris.
Chris.
Wednesday, 28 January 2009
Its nights like this........
You know....you have them occasionaly. The ones where your almost at tears, your not sure why; life was good yesterday and now, for now at least it just feels like shit. Sleepings a possibility but it seems almost impossible to achieve. Shit im a fully grown, fairly large male and im writing this on the edge of being a blubbering baby! I'll tell it as a story, stories are good!
One of my best friends came to visit a few days ago, he mentioned this girl I like, but I havent told anybody, not even him! Ok maybe just a suggestion but it was a very male, meh shes ok type comment! At the same time I really like this local girl (as in we are at the same uni). The problem and depressing bit is that I dont know if I like one of them much because I dont really know her, but the attractions insane, I mean its rare, rarely insane! But I might not see her soon/ever. At the same time I cant go out with this local girl because ill feel shit like meh I like the other girl. But at the same time i really really like this local girl and its like i could see us being great friends or more. But I denied her tonight my reasoning being the exams; but yes this was bugging me too! I knew I wouldnt be able to sleep until I did some venting see, so I came and typed it all here; now I feel a lot better.
These last few days have been hard, not with my mate Tom visiting that was mint, but the work and today him not being here and the thoughts of what if then this other girl; its all clashed together into a fairly stressful; yet strangely motivating mix!
On the MMA front me and Tom did some training I won two-one doing the old Brazilian Ju-Jitsu. It was mint I love that sport with all my sane heart (id say its something like 33% sane ;-)). Also ive written up a new diet plan (cereal, salad lunch, normal tea, 8 classes of water 4 of fruit alcohol only on a thursday and saturday). And gym plan (8 hours gym a week). Im hoping it will man me up.
I wish life would be easier, but i guess after all we learn from the constant struggles.
Chris.
One of my best friends came to visit a few days ago, he mentioned this girl I like, but I havent told anybody, not even him! Ok maybe just a suggestion but it was a very male, meh shes ok type comment! At the same time I really like this local girl (as in we are at the same uni). The problem and depressing bit is that I dont know if I like one of them much because I dont really know her, but the attractions insane, I mean its rare, rarely insane! But I might not see her soon/ever. At the same time I cant go out with this local girl because ill feel shit like meh I like the other girl. But at the same time i really really like this local girl and its like i could see us being great friends or more. But I denied her tonight my reasoning being the exams; but yes this was bugging me too! I knew I wouldnt be able to sleep until I did some venting see, so I came and typed it all here; now I feel a lot better.
These last few days have been hard, not with my mate Tom visiting that was mint, but the work and today him not being here and the thoughts of what if then this other girl; its all clashed together into a fairly stressful; yet strangely motivating mix!
On the MMA front me and Tom did some training I won two-one doing the old Brazilian Ju-Jitsu. It was mint I love that sport with all my sane heart (id say its something like 33% sane ;-)). Also ive written up a new diet plan (cereal, salad lunch, normal tea, 8 classes of water 4 of fruit alcohol only on a thursday and saturday). And gym plan (8 hours gym a week). Im hoping it will man me up.
I wish life would be easier, but i guess after all we learn from the constant struggles.
Chris.
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