Nice weekend; but........

Hello,

I dont know whats going on.....its tiredness I guess? Its been a great weekend, ive spent too much money and partied waaaay too hard, but now I just feel like dispair. I cant stop thinking and its driving me insane. I'm obsessing over a girl, who i'm doing well with, but this seems like bad obsession; like a panic over her, loosing, lose, rejection? I dont know. I could rant on and on all day (all blog) about this......ok I will, for a while. Readers if you get the feeling this is the scribblings of a persons current thoughts; you are correct! Its not just this girl i'm worrying (is that the right word, I mean, im not worried, its not worry. Panicing? errrm obsessing yes. Obsessing) about its work, getting a new job, progressing with life, acceptence by friends, do I trust them, do they trust me? Do they tell me this, that; the other? Man. I sound crazy; i mean reading this back im thinking "dude your head is fried"! It is, its hurting, its tiredness I know that; so i'm scrolling down my thoughts here; in this public blog any old joe could read! Not wise. Geeeeese I know, but I have to tell someone (something?) about this, that, them? Whatever it is i'm thinking! I need reasons, I need action, I need progression. Its the girls fault. No. its my own making, this situation. My fault. After all my feelings, perceptions, actions. Lack of actions all my fault. I can blame others......and no doubt for the little things I will. At the end of the day I need to do something. i was thinking on the girl front just be friendly, be a friend. But she has many male friends who all like her and want something, but nothing happens! I cant be a drone like them (no offence if your reading this fellas, I am after all pretty mental(see above)). If I ask her though to go somewhere and she says nein, it would hurt alot, I guess its cos my dream would be destroyied. What ive worked for gone......but friends, friends can fall in love right? Anyway enough about that problem (its not a problem, I love it really, maybe, do I? lets not go there).
On the job front, ive had a few more interviews and offers of interviews since my last blog. Jobs come and go, but nothing seems to be really catching on and employing me. I'm hoping 2011 will be a big year of progression for me on that front. I cant really deal with living here much longer. I mean, I love my parent but at the same time they get on my nerves, I need my own space. My own people. I'm still at Sainsburys and I enjoy it. I never thought id write (type) that but I am, its pretty good for what I do, nice people everywhere.

Thats the blog for now.

See you soon readers.

Chris.